What is Transfigured?

I think the first time I started a diet, I had not even hit puberty yet. Looking back at childhood pictures, I would consider myself to have been an average sized child until about the age of nine, when my mother was diagnosed with cancer (lymphoma) and my weight shot up, inviting the notice - and comments - of my family and classmates alike. As a result, my mother started taking me to a clinical weight loss trial at a prominent local university medical center. Soon after that, I started dieting on my own, asking my mother to start packing me only half a sandwich for lunch instead of a full sandwich. And so began my blind leap into the dieting world, which would lead me on a lifelong path of weight gains, losses, and sometimes self-destructive behavior.

Shortly after starting college, I entered the Catholic Church and started growing in my faith. But the one thing I couldn't surrender to God was my eating habits, which by that point had become a coping mechanism, whether I was overeating or starving myself and over-exercising. My weight continued to fluctuate, and I gradually began to understand more about myself, including the deeper reasons behind my love-hate relationship with food and my body. I even began to heal a little bit.

Then I entered the "real world," and suddenly I was living in a part of the country 2600 miles from my native California, where outdoor activities were nearly impossible for me most of the year due to the weather in which I was unaccustomed to working out, and much of my time was spent sitting at the desk in my office. On top of all of that, I was living alone for the first time in my life in a small town in which I knew no one, and the motivation to get into a solid workout routine always seemed to elude me, no matter how many "good starts" I managed to eke out.

By the following spring (April 2013), I had gained 20-30 lbs, was more inactive than I had been in years, and frustrated with the fact that my issues with food and weight seemed to be insurmountable, even with my strong faith in God, and the many other things I had been able to overcome with His grace. Living alone, I had gotten into an awful habit of ordering delivery and gorging myself on the weekends, and sometimes the evenings after work, especially when things were busy at work and I didn't have the time or energy to go shopping or actually cook good food. I decided enough was enough, and conceded that I might be an addict, so I looked up the local Overeater's Anonymous (OA) meeting, and resolved to go.

I went to one meeting and I didn't like it. Not to discourage anyone from trying it, since it has a great record of success in helping people, but it just wasn't for me. For one thing, I didn't like how the concept of God had been diluted to the abstract "Higher Power," since I wanted to be able to talk about God's work in my life without any apologies or qualifications. But more than that, I was uncomfortable with the practice of identifying myself as an addict every time I spoke in the group. "I'm Aly, and I'm a food addict/compulsive overeater" ("Hi Aly"). While I understand the concept of accepting and admitting to having a problem larger than myself, I feel that it is important for me (and perhaps others) to find identity outside of a problem or diagnosis.

I am me. I am Aly; I am a daughter of God. I have a problem with food and weight, but it doesn't define me. I am defined by my identity in God.

I left the meeting that day with a desire for something different. I had recently talked with a friend from church about a Catholic weight loss program she had heard about. Her friend happened to have the introduction DVD, and we watched it together. However, I didn't like some aspects of the program, and it was expensive. After the OA meeting, I felt even more drawn to something decidedly Catholic, and I was starting to think that God was leading me to develop it.

I started praying and thinking about it more, and talked with two of my friends at church about it, who both enthusiastically said they would join me in "piloting" the program, if I started working on it. The next day, I wrote out several pages of what I envisioned the program to be. Namely, a wellness program that was more about health and less about weight, and more about pleasing God than striving for unattainable worldly ideals and expectation. In a word, more about transfiguration.

I chose the name Transfigured because I think it captures the idea of what I am trying to accomplish with this program. At the transfiguration of Jesus, He reveals Himself to Peter, John, and James as His True Self - His Glorified Self - and simultaneously God the Father proclaims Jesus' true identity: "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased" (Matthew 17:5). At the same time, we are told that Jesus' physical appearance was actually changed (Matthew 17:2).

So, from this, we have the elements of what Transfigured should be for us; a guide towards:
* Physical change (both outward, physical appearance as well as internal physical changes in the body leading to improved/optimal health)
 * Emergence of our true selves as children of God (both as an inherent reality and through spiritual growth)

At the core of everything is finding - and fully living - our true identity as children of God. If we truly understand what this means and are able to fully integrate this into our self-image, then healthy living (body and soul) will come as a natural result of treating ourselves in a way that honors our identity.

I am currently working on developing this program in its fullness, and hope that it will not only become a published book, but also a program that can be implemented at Catholic parishes to provide small support groups and guidance for people seeking physical and spiritual health and wellness.

The purpose of this blog is to document my own journey as I develop Transfigured and simultaneously go through the program myself, while offering insights and guidance gained along the way. I will likely also use it to post small tidbits and previews from the program/book, as well as recipes and healthy living ideas. Please feel free to share this blog with anyone you think it may benefit.