This is My Body

At counseling today, my counselor and I spoke at length about loving my body, no matter its size or weight, particularly because God loves me just as much now as He would if I were a size 2. I have long struggled with this – although I, of course, understand that God’s love is not dependent on my weight, believing that to the core is another matter.

I went to adoration after my session, as I often do, to sort out everything with the Lord, and as I gazed up at the Lord, thinking about everything that had been discussed, and about how to love my body now – not “someday” when I have reached a size and weight to my liking – it was as if He said to me:

“This is My Body”

Only He was referring to me – to my body.

I immediately understood the implication: “Aly, you are part of My Body, and your body is My Body. Therefore, love your body, and in so doing, love Me, and treat your body as you would if it were Mine, for so it is!”

The meaning here was double – not only is my body Christ’s Body, since I am a member of the Body of Christ, the Church, but my body also belongs to Christ – it is His body.

Christ loves His Body, the Church, despite its flaws. Even though it contains sinners – perhaps even especially because of the sinners – He loves it. Similarly, when we love our bodies because of their flaws (excess weight/fat, in particular, but also other physical flaws), then we can treat it as Christ treats the Church – as an object of love. If a person is in sin, Christ does not reject her and send her towards more of the same sin. No! He loves her and brings her to that which will heal her. In the case of excess body fat/weight, we must follow Christ’s example, and love our bodies all the more because of this, and inspired by that love, give our bodies that which will heal them.

A sinner needs more grace than a righteous person – more love, more of the sacraments, more prayer, etc. – in order to overcome her sin. Likewise, a person who is unhealthy in body needs more of the best foods and nutrients in order to achieve health. Why, then, do we treat our bodies without love because of these flaws? A body that is unhealthy due to poor and/or excessive eating needs healthy, nutritious foods in order to heal – not more of the same unhealthy/excessive foods and habits that keep it unhealthy. It is an act of love to give our bodies what they need to be healthy, but often because unhealthy habits have caused our bodies to be in a form or size that we hate, we continue to treat our bodies without the love they deserve.

“You are Christ’s Body” of which He says, “this is My Body.” Therefore, treat your body as you would treat the Body of Christ  - with love, reverence, respect, and honor.

Forsaking your body because its flaws, whatever they may be, is like forsaking Christ Himself and is, at the very least, a disrespect of a gift from God – that gift being His Holy Temple, your body!

If you came upon a beautiful cathedral that was cracking and falling apart with age, would you dismiss it as ugly and imperfect, decide that you no longer love its beauty, or perhaps take a sledge hammer to it to increase its flaws? Certainly not! More likely, assuming you had the means to do so, you would seek to repair and rebuild it – restoring the fullness of its beauty.

It is important to note that its beauty was not completely lost, only obscured to the naked eye by its flaws. Similarly, your bodily flaws do not diminish your beauty, but rather, invite restoration! This restoration can be found in a healthy lifestyle, but is ultimately offered to us by Christ, who restores both body and soul.

So love your body, love your soul, and act accordingly.

One Year

I read an article today called "Would You Trade One Year for the Perfect Body?" Emphasis here on the word "perfect," although that's not how I initially took it.

The article was about a poll taken of women, most of whom were of normal or below normal weight, but nevertheless nearly all said there are things about their bodies they do not like and/or would change, if they could. The point of the question was to see if women, even those who are already a healthy weight, or even underweight, would rather die a year sooner than they would otherwise in exchange for the "perfect" body. 16% of the 320 British woman polled said yes.

However, when I initially saw the title of the article, I misinterpreted the question to mean "would you be willing to work hard, make changes and sacrifices, for one year, in order to achieve a healthier body?"

Quite a different question, right?

Regardless of the actual content of the article, this really got me thinking. Isn't it worth devoting a year to making changes in my eating and exercise, in order to make lasting changes, and gain (hopefully) many years to come of a healthy, happy life? I certainly think so!

I then realized that it has been about one year now since I first embarked on my journey to start the Transfigured program, and I have stopped and started it several times since then.

I have only recently started making changes again after becoming frustrated with how difficult it is for me to just walk around campus (I'm back in grad school, and the campus has a lot of hills and stairs). Luckily, my roommate and best friend signed up to run a half marathon in September with her boyfriend and siblings, so I started going to the gym with her twice a week. It's not much, but it's a start, and really quite a good one considering I have not been to the gym since probably December, and my last real workout was maybe January or February (and that was an isolated occurrence). On top of that, I am going to be a bridesmaid in my friend's August 30th wedding, so of course that is motivating, if only on a superficial level (i.e. I want to look good in my dress, especially since she will have those photos forever)! So, between all of these things, and many others, I have found myself once again motivated to change my eating and exercise for good.

While it may seem that I have failed at what I tried to start in 2013 when I first wrote out the concept of Transfigured - even with the ups and downs, and months of laxity, I have learned some valuable lessons that I know will help me this time around. And I'm sure I will learn things as I get started these next few weeks that will help me later, whether I end up falling and getting back up again, or just continuing to move forward.

For example, already I have finally truly learned to follow one of the most basic concepts of Transfigured - start slowly! (I may write the guidelines for Transfigured, but I am really bad at following my own "rules").

I have a tendency to want it all, now, or preferably yesterday! Having been a competitive cheerleader in high school, I tend to want to go full speed, as if I had never lost the fitness I had in my competition days (haha, if only). But I know that the surest way to lifelong fitness is patience. Right now, I'm only doing about 30-35 minutes on the treadmill, two days a week, mostly walking. But already, I have noticed improvements. When I first started, I could only walk, but I was surprised that I was still able to maintain the walking speed I had used in the past, when I was exercising more regularly, and this week I even started adding in running intervals of 15-30 seconds. Sure, just a few years ago, I was running for one minute intervals every 4 minutes, but considering where I am with my weight and fitness, those 15-30 seconds 1-3 times in my workout are still an achievement!

With patience, humility, and the celebration of small achievements, I think I can commit to one year of healthy changes in exchange for a lifetime of healthy living. But I truly think this can only be done with small changes. If I try to do too much, too soon, I will end up as I have in the past - going astray, giving up, gaining weight, etc. until I have to start over, and finally find the motivation to start making changes again.

For those of you reading, I want to encourage you - if you have tried a million times to start eating healthier and/or exercising, only to give up, don't lose hope! Start again! But start slowly!

I'd like to commit to one year of healthy changes, but I think we can take that concept and slow it down a bit, and commit to one month, one week, one day, even, if that's what it takes! Every bit counts!

What changes can you commit to today?

Will you give up one day of unhealthy habits in order to start working towards a healthier life?